When talking about feminism, you’re bound to get mixed reactions. Some people will applaud the word. Others might roll their eyes and hiss. This is all dependent on the environment you happen to find yourself in.
Now, I can’t speak for every feminist woman or man out there so I’m speaking for myself. This is what I believe is inaccurate when it comes to feminism.
Feminism is NOT about being a Man Hater or the DOMINATION of a WOMAN over a MAN
Some people think that feminists only care about it being a woman’s world. They think that we are out for “world domination.” That is not true. As much as I am passionate about causes that affect women, I want men to be part of the conversation. I believe a 100% that women and men should work together to bring about progress and change in our society and communities.
Feminism is not against MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN
As I said before, I can’t speak for every other feminist but I am not against marriage and children. I look forward to that time in my life when I can begin that chapter. Also, I do not judge women that do not want those things. We are all entitled to our own decisions.
I know there were a lot of controversies when Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie made that statement about being surprised that Hilary Clinton had put wife first in her twitter bio. I read Chimamanda’s full statement on that.
If you read Chimamanda’s statement above, it’s clear that she didn’t mean to offend or put down the role of a wife. I believe she asked the question because she was curious about why. This is because traditionally, especially in my country here in Nigeria, women are mostly judged based on their marital status. So I think Chimamanda cares about that stigma being eliminated because women are not only defined by that.
What I truly believe is that No woman is the same. Whatever role a woman occupies matters. Whether a woman works or not is her decision. Whether a woman chooses to be a housewife or not is also her decision. I don’t believe in degrading women. I believe that we can each choose to identify ourselves with whichever role we want, as long as it is authentic and of value to us.
All Feminists want to be Slay Queens, Expose Their Bodies, ETC = NOT TRUE
A great misconception about feminism is that we are all about the same causes and personalities. They are some people who identify as feminist who care about how they express their bodies. Their empowerment might be less is more when it comes to clothing choices. There are also some feminists who care about equality when it comes to career and societal roles.
As for me, I am passionate about uplifting other women. I am passionate about having all women know that their beauty should be defined by them. Beauty is diverse. Also, my heart lights up for causes where we advocate for the end of gender violence such as rape, sex slavery, genital mutilation. Any act that is forced upon a woman that oppresses her is not okay for me. That is what I care about.
If another woman or man says they are a feminist and they advocate for a different cause, that is their own passion. I don’t believe that we should generalize all feminists. I also don’t believe that we should put any feminist in a box. Everyone has a voice and opinion and we all deserve to be listened to.
Feminists DO Care about True EQUALITY
There’s a very common social argument that I hear a lot of men make. They say we women want to call ourselves feminist but we don’t want to pay on a date or we want the man to take care of the bills at home. I’ll keep saying that I speak for myself. I don’t know about your own feminism but that argument to me is not entirely true. I’m not that kind of woman that expects the man to do and pay for everything. I’ve gone on dates and I’ve asked the guy if he wants to split the bill. Usually, they say no, that they’ve got it. I carry money with me on dates because I don’t just expect the man to pay.
As far as taking care of the bills in the house, I can honestly tell you that I don’t expect my future husband to cover everything. This is because I’ve grown up in a home with two working parents. My father contributes and my mother makes her own contribution. Due to the fact that I was raised this way, when I say I believe in equality, I do.
So this argument about women always expecting the guys to handle the money is just another generalization that I think we need to stop making. Women are not all the same and yes, men too are not all the same.
That is it, people. This is what I want to clarify about the way people perceive feminism. It is my hope that more women would use and embrace the word. It is my hope that feminism can be seen in a positive light no matter the environment you find yourself in.
Now, I’m very curious about you. What do you think about feminism?