How to Get Real About Who You Are

Authenticity is my favorite word. It’s what I live for.  Being real is happiness. Being real is peace of mind. Being real is a relief. It matters to live your life in a way that truly reflects all of who you are.

However, the process of being real has been shaky for me. It’s been uncomfortable. At times, I try to run away from my truth but God always brings me to my purpose whether I’m ready or not. I’ve always known I love literature and writing but I told myself that I would go to the U.K. and study Law. I ended up in New York where I studied English Literature, Journalism and Women Studies. I don’t regret any of that because it is who I am. I put my writing skills to use through the work I do for different organizations and I enjoy it. My other truth is how I care deeply about the empowerment of women and girls. I used to feel embarrassed about it because I didn’t want people to perceive me as aggressive, a complainer or a man-hater just because I call myself a feminist. I used to not want to be vocal. But I got over that. Associating myself with women organizations is very important to me. It is fulfilling for me to be part of efforts to help women and girls. Embracing myself and what I care about gives my life meaning and happiness.

If you are having difficulties with finding or owning up to your identity, pursuits, and passions, I have three things I want you to consider.

Consider What You Care About

The things you care about are there for a reason. There are certain things you might feel drawn to and it is most likely there because it’s part of who you are. You shouldn’t try to deny the things you love doing. You should embrace it because it adds to your life. It also creates opportunities. Blogging is not only something I enjoy doing but it also helps me in my career. I put it on my CV and LinkedIn profile. It gives me opportunities to work for organizations where I can utilize my skills to help in content and social media management.

That is why you have to consider what you care about. Is it writing, designing, speaking or even cooking? These things that matter to you will bring fulfillment from the act of performing them. In addition, through doing what you care about, there’s the possibility that someone could need that skill that you have. That means opportunities to advance yourself and career. It’s a win-win situation.

The things you care about will not only lead to your happiness but will also lead to opportunities in career and lifestyle.

Consider What You Are Good At

The things you are naturally good at are part of who you are. In addition to writing, I love public speaking. This is something I’ve been good at for a while. When I was small, I did the reading for my first communion at church. After my reading, the father told the church members that there is something special about me. When I gave the salutatory speech at my high school graduation, parents came up to tell me that they were moved.

I love public speaking because I want to be able to impact other people’s lives positively. This is who I am. I continue to develop this skill because in the future, I can see myself being requested for speaking engagements. Having this goal and pursuit gives me purpose. It’s important for you to think about the things you are good at because it could lead you to have a purpose in life.

Now in order to realize what you are good at, think about what people often admire or compliment you for? Is there something innate you possess which impresses people? I know people into photography and design. This is something they did not even study. They are just good at it and they pursue it because it’s who they are. It’s part of their purpose.

Consider the Future

When trying to get real about who you are, consider your future. What would you want to be doing/where can you see yourself? Does that image fill you with happiness and a good sense of pride? When I think about my future, I will be an international best-selling author. I will be leading and associated with organizations that help women and girls. I will be invited to be a speaker at notable events. Because this vision makes me feel happy and excited, I know that is all of who I am. I keep striving for this goal. If you’re not sure about your path in life now, think about what you would want for yourself, five to ten years down the line? What type of role, career or lifestyle can you imagine that feels right to you? What would bring you that happiness? Whatever that might be is exactly who you really are.

One way to find out what is authentic to you is to imagine what you can be happy doing five to ten years in your future

I hope some of these points are helpful to you. Let me know with a comment what helps you realize and embrace who you are?

P.S. The dress I’m wearing is from this great site called Poppy Apparel. They have great dresses, athletic wear and awesome tees about feminism. You can shop this look using my code “Isi10”

Post Author: Isioma Ononye

I'm a blogger, freelance writer and news enthusiast. I love having deep conversations about life, personal development and books. I care deeply about feminism. My bliss is found in words that move me, nature and chasing my dreams.

2 thoughts on “How to Get Real About Who You Are

    Oluwatobi Ogunfusika

    (October 18, 2018 - 1:34 pm)

    Isioma thanks for this. I struggled for a while with being REAL to myself because I thought that my dreams and aspirations were too much. I’m learning to embrace me for who I am without apology to anyone.

      Isioma Ononye

      (October 19, 2018 - 2:39 pm)

      You’re very welcome and absolutely, I love that you said: “without apologies to anyone.” I definitely understand that struggle with thinking your dreams are too much. The best thing we can do is to admit what we really want and have the courage to keep going after it 🙂

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