When I think back to my childhood, I wanted more out of my life. In Nigeria, I was excited when my father discussed the posting to New York because I wanted to experience life in New York. I wanted to work and live in the city. I wanted to meet people with creative pursuits and passions. Here in New York, I find myself wanting more. It’s taken me some time to realize what this “more” I seek is.
When I think about the life I want, it’s one of adventure. To explore. To be in new places and have new experiences. I want company. For some time, I’ve felt a deep loneliness. I want more meaningful friendships. The people who are willing to listen to your aspirations and fears. The people who see your insecurities. The people who will be honest with you about your flaws. The people who celebrate your success. I’m fortunate to say that I have a supportive family.
When I think about the life I want, I want Love. I want intimacy. I want to share much with this person. I want to laugh with this person. I want to be challenged. To be a bit uncomfortable. To be moved.
This MORE that is constantly in my head.. In college, when I found myself in classes where I was bored, my mind would drift off and I would contemplate MORE. MORE. This MORE is inherently out of myself. To step out of the negative thought patterns that bring me down, make me unhappy when I have much to be grateful for. This MORE is out of my life. To use this gift that is life to LIVE. To have moments where I’m moved. Where I’m inspired. Where I’m laughing. Where my mind is not disturbed by the incessant chatter of the lies I tell myself.
Tell yourself what you’re truly seeking. You have to get clear about it in order to create it. What do you want out of your life?