Big Questions Isoken Brings to Light about Cultural Norms

A successful thirty-four-year-old woman has watched her younger sisters get married. Her family feels that she too needs to be married. They introduce her to a bachelor, a wealthy and handsome Nigerian man from a respectable family. This woman in the course of meeting the Nigerian man also meets someone else who peaks her interest. She meets a white British man that she enjoys spending time with. Now Isoken must face the decision of who to be with. The Nigerian movie “Isoken” is humorous and insightful. It brings to light questions and concepts that most women ponder about relationships.

What does it mean to be single?

When I watch romantic films or view others relationships, it can make me start to wonder and fixate over being in a relationship. At a point in the movie, Isoken laments her being single. She said she can remember when she was in university and having a good time with her friends. She said time moves by quickly and suddenly she’s in her thirties and she’s found out that she’s the only single friend left. She walks into her reunion and suddenly her being unwed has made her feel as though she’s failed in life.

The scene makes me consider how people view an unwed woman. I believe in marriage and some years from now, I’d love to have my own family. However, I don’t believe that the success of a woman should be determined by whether or not she has found a husband. I believe that it’s important to know who you are. To love yourself. To connect with the people that surround us.  I think it’s also important to know our purpose. I think when we fixate on relationships, we lose sight of all the other things going on in our lives that require our attention.

Who gets to say if inter-racial dating is right or wrong?

Isoken has two love interests. A Nigerian and a white British man. When she discusses her feelings for the British man, some of her friends were opposed to the idea. One of them said there will be an inferiority complex if she chooses the white man. Another said they couldn’t be with someone not Nigerian.

It makes me consider how inter-racial dating is viewed in society. I remember that in university in New York, I had a crush on several white men. I wanted to discuss it but felt I couldn’t tell a certain friend about it. I thought it would be embarrassing and a betrayal to be interested in someone not my race. Now I realize how wrong that was. I was only considering how one friend would view it rather than what I wanted.

Now, I believe that when choosing the right partner, we have to consider what we want. I think the characteristics and values we look for are significant.

When is the right time for marriage?

There’s a moment in the movie when Isoken is talking with her little sister. Her sister said she wished she waited till she got married.  She said she wanted to please her mother and though she loves her family, she sometimes doesn’t know who she is.

That scene made me contemplate on the time people make the decision to say I do. I believe that marriage should happen when we’re ready. To me, being ready means knowing who you are and having a certain level of independence to depend on you. I think this takes time. However, in various cultures like Nigeria’s, there can be pressure for women to get married. Some girls are forced into marriage. That needs to change because jumping into a decision when they’re not ready could negatively impact their lives.

Ask African Leaders To Invest More in Girl’s Education

I believe what’s most important for young women and girls is that they live in a society where a value is placed on how they can better themselves. I think education is a significant factor in a girl’s life.

I added my name to an online petition asking African leaders to put in greater efforts to invest in educating girls. If you add your name to send a postcard, the message will be delivered to leaders and their teams that run the African Union Summit.

Now here is the trailer of the movie “Isoken” for those interested in watching. What are your thoughts on the concepts that Isoken highlights?

5 thoughts on “Big Questions Isoken Brings to Light about Cultural Norms

    1. Fantastic. I’m glad you like the post.Women issues and feminism is important to me so you can expect more posts like this. 🙂

  1. Wonderful post. I’ve heard about this movie but not watched it yet. I’ll definitely look for a way to watch the movie. I love the lessons you highlighted from the movie.

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