Love is that universal thing we desire. I’m sure we all aspire to have genuine love in our lives, be it in our family, friendships and relationship. I’m a hopeless romantic so love is something that is always on my mind. However, I’ve made some mistakes in that department. In dating, I’ve fallen for the idea of someone instead of the reality just because I wanted to have an experience. For friendships, I’ve been around people who I didn’t like just because I wanted company.
The result of both situations was being frustrated and sad. However, the other result was a learning experience. So I hope the signs below will help you to put things in perspective if your relationship or friendships are causing you a lot of doubts or pain.
You Don’t Enjoy Thier Company
If you’re around someone that you don’t enjoy their company, that’s a big red flag. The guy I used to spend time with in university was not someone I enjoyed the company of. I wanted to be around him to not feel lonely. I ended up still feeling lonely. You should be with someone that you like spending time with not just using them to fill space in your life.
If you use someone to fill space in your life, you’re wasting your time because there’s no value. The effect of making this mistake for me was that I was around someone that drained me. I was around someone that didn’t understand me because I always had to explain myself. I was around someone that I couldn’t really be myself with. That is just not worth it. If you’re associating and hanging out with someone just because you’re bored or lonely, they are not the people for you.
You’re Not Certain of Where Your Relationship Stands
If you keep getting mixed signals from the person you’re trying to be with, end it. Somebody that wants to be with you will pursue you. They will be direct about wanting you in their lives if they truly want you. They will be honest with you about their plans and whether the relationship fits into their lives.
My roommate from university just recently got engaged. I’m so happy for her and I sent her a message saying that I can remember that when we were in university, she said she would end up marrying the guy and now she is. She responded to my message that “when you know, you know.” So if someone is uncertain about whether they want to be with you or you wanting to be with them, then it’s probably not right.
The Friend Makes You Feel Unworthy
If you are with someone that makes you question your self-esteem and worth, then that’s never a good thing. The right people around you make you feel special and loved. The right people check up on you. The right people encourage you. The people you shouldn’t be around with make you feel the opposite and their energy depletes you.
I’ve had experiences where I’m with someone and after the conversation, I felt drained. Or I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Once I learned to distance myself from such people, I felt happier. I felt better about my life. Being around the wrong person or people is toxic.
Have you had an experience where you realized you should not be with or around a particular person? What were the signs?
P.S. thanks to my wonderful friend for giving me the idea to write this post. We are continents apart yet you continue to check up on me and encourage me. You know who you are and I appreciate you so much. ♥