We will be leaving 2019 behind soon and approaching 2020. This will be another new year and a new decade. That’s a big deal. Contemplating back from 10 years ago, I’ve learned a lot that I want to share with you. These lessons are what I will keep having to reinforce in my life. I will keep them ever-present with me. Here are my top 10 lessons learned in the decade.
Set Boundaries with Others
You show people how they can treat you. If you accept anything, people will treat you anyhow. You have to let people know what is and is not okay in how to talk to you. This has not been easy for me because I don’t like confrontation. I prefer to stay quiet but I’ve learned that if you don’t speak up, people can and will keep treating you in a way that is not okay. They will say things that are not appropriate. They will want to encroach on your space. I’m learning that I have to set boundaries with others whether they like it or not. It might feel uncomfortable to have the conversation but it is needed. If the person doesn’t respect those boundaries, then they do not need to be in your life.
Don’t Revel In Others/ Expect So Much from People
See people for how they are and take your time in getting to know them. I make the mistake of putting others in a podium and glorifying them. The only person that should be glorified is God. I keep learning that I can’t expect so much from people. I might feel a connection. I might see their potential but I can’t put them on a podium. People are all human. That means that sometimes they will disappoint us. They will upset us. They will not live up to our expectations. They are human. We are all human. Don’t put others on a podium they did not ask to be on. Two things could happen in such situations. One is that you will end up feeling hurt and disappointed when reality shows it’s face. Or they might take advantage of your perception to make jest of you, to manipulate and use you. Take your time and see people for how they are and not what you envision them to be in your life.
Make Time for Yourself
Life is too short for you not to be happy. What’s the point if you don’t try to be happy? Go get your nails done. Buy yourself a cute outfit. Read a nice book. Put on your favourite music. Go out on a date with yourself. You deserve to be happy so make time for yourself.
Create Your Own Opportunities
Make things happen. Stop waiting on others. Whatever you want to do, find ways to make it happen. Start the project. Put your work out there. Network and make connections. Take control of your destiny. Prayer is not enough. Get out there and make things happen for you.
Don’t Over-think It
We all have off days. We all make mistakes. Yes, it feels embarrassing. Yes, you feel uncertain and confused at times. It’s alright. Don’t dwell so much in the thoughts. Live in reality and do and be in the moment. It’s not that big of a deal.
Make do with What You Have
Have you heard that statement that says all the things you need are right in front of you? Believe it. Do what you can with what you have. I don’t have a camera yet so I record my videos on my phone. I take pictures with my phone when I run out of content. I also re-use old photos. I do what I can with what I have as long as my message gets out. Do what you can with what you have for the moment.
Don’t Rush Into Career Decisions
I’ve made mistakes in my career. I’ve been job-hopping because I rush into decisions. You rush in and then you rush out. Take the time to figure out what is right for you. Take the time to understand your best skills and what value you can bring. Truly consider your skills and goals to the jobs that you are applying to. Ask yourself all the right questions so you don’t end up in a nightmare situation. Stop rushing into things you will end up regretting.
Trust Your Intuition
Your intuition is there for a reason. There’s a reason you feel a certain kind of way about a person or place. Don’t dismiss it. Sometimes, the universe/God has a way of telling you things through your intuition. Be mindful of what is being told to you. Be careful with the way you interact with others. Not everyone you want to confide in is a real friend. Not everyone has the best intentions. Trust your intuition more.
Focus on What You Have Control Over
When you feel lost and stuck in life, just focus on what you can control. Find out what it is that you have control over. My art is always my safe haven. When things in my life don’t go as planned, when things are not making sense, I will always have my art. I have control over my writing.
You Are The Person Who Will Make You Happy
It’s nobody’s job or priority to make you happy. This is the most significant lesson that I’ve learned yet I still fail at it sometimes. I have to keep learning this lesson. You are the person you have been waiting on. It’s your responsibility and priority to make yourself happy. Don’t wait for family. Don’t wait on friends. Don’t wait on your partner. Your happiness should not be put on hold until this and that. Take ownership of it. Once you do take ownership, you free yourself. You also free others of the pressure to be your everything. You are the one you’ve been waiting on all these years. It’s Me boo.
What do you think about my lessons learned in a decade? Do you have your own lessons that you’ve learned in this decade? Share your top lesson with me in a comment below.
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